These days I feel a little upset that I am not in Europe. that I’m not free. that  I can’t live with my boyfriend, that my life is going to change. I feel sad. I feel scared. I have a lot of feelings, and sometimes I just want to feel happy. Most of the time, even when I’m trying to do the things that do make me happy, I just feel content, with this lingering feeling of sadness and hopelessness. I have a strong desire to do nothing, to procrastinate and not be productive. I need to learn how to be a productive person again. a happy one. My grandma is 80 now. She’s in great shape and health. I want to be like that at 80. I want to enjoy my life. I need to start exercising. Train myself to be stronger. Lose some weight. I don’t know. This is just my stream of consciousness so I’m positive this won’t make any sense, but that this moment…I just want to be happy. I want to be safe. I don’t want to fear everything.

New Years 2013

Resolution time rolls around again. Let’s try to make achievable goals this time…

  • Exercise 3 x a week
  • Drink 4 glasses of water a day
  • Do all readings ahead of time/on time
  • Spend less than $100/month on clothes
  • Spend less than $100/month on going out/food


  • Finish assignments/papers 2 days ahead of time
  • Get accepted to exchange
  • Get a job
  • Lose 10 lbs
  • Learn to ride a bike
  • Get G2

Nearing the end of summer

I can’t believe the summer is over! I’m off to NY tonight. Busy busy. I’m basically done everything at work - AMAZING. Which means I can go home early (Though I came late). Sweet. I have also assembled the list of matters that I have worked on for my boss to look at later. Maybe I’ll email it to him today. Or tomorrow. He’s on vacay, so I have no idea. Lol. 

It feels a little weird to close everything. My desk is almost empty…I’m just kinda sitting around…